1ST things 1st - NEED A REHAB!!!

I confess, I AM A SHOPAHOLIC!!! I noticed this a while back but I didn’t understand the extent of it! For instance, I’m aware I’ll be going somewhere abroad quite soon, so the best thing is to save!!! I made a breakable vow that I WOULD NOT shop for the WHOLE of September… three days in and look! Yes… I went shopping TODAY! Three days? Three days! Three days!?! I cant even last three days!!!

Jheez??? I don’t know what i is gana do buh hay… it isn’t really that much of a problem… YET!!! And I reactivated my facebook the other day, because… because… because - I did! Sian was the only one to re-add me! I like Sian – so I accepted her!

2ND Went in to school to enrol for a second time. It was great to see Gaby back from Ecuador! She looks GLAMOROUS with her new hair. She’s always been beautiful anyway lol. Pepper was there *humph*. I greeted her and held a conversation with her. Yes I was polite as usual! When I look at her, I wonder if she really likes me… if she really looks forward to seeing me… or is it an act for the same sake as mine? I don’t really care but I’m usually good at reading people… but her I cannot. She is spoilt self centred - and no this isn’t me being twofaced - she told me so herself! When I speak to her, she only speaks about herself! Not intentionally lol that’s just her. But she does love herself more then she should! That’s why the others named her that… Pepper. They say she thinks she’s hot, but she’s not!

I say NO more!

Still i’m starting fresh and forgetting forgiving all the times she spoke to me bad just so that others think she’s something!!!

But anyway, this journal is NOT about her! It’s about something... else.

So when I got in and sat down in the foyer, Jemma told me she got a B in photography and Miss Jackson got an A*. Gabs said she got a C so I’ll defiantly pass. Reflecting on what was said in class, I knew I was sitting on a B, BUT then the doubt started to kick in. I didn’t want a C, but it was what I was secretly expecting! After all, Jemma and Miss Jackson always got the praise in the class! I was always told I was ‘behind’ and how I should just stick things in like Jemma, ‘don’t worry about the background’. I was ‘a perfectionist’ to the teachers. But it hurt me to just ‘stick’ things in, because I knew I would go over that page, which resulted in more time loss then doing it properly in the first place! So when I was in the interview and Ms Nick was telling me that I did really well, but she wasn’t going to tell me, I started wondering… just wondering… but ‘no’ that would have been stupid.

I was willing to wait until whenever to find out my results, but fortunately Ms T caught me and hand signed me the fabulous news!!!

I got an A in my AS photography!!!! That was just MAAADDD!!!! How could I get more then Jemma. Her book was perfect… she was perfect!!!

But it’s true! Finally, all that blood sweat and tears paid off!

Como dice la Biblia, lo que se siembra es lo que vas a cosechar. Y el muchacho sembré!

As the bible says, what you sow is what you'll reap. And boy did i sow!!!

Saturday 22 August 2009 21:14

I have NO VOICE!!!

I went Thorpe Park yesterday, and Brighton the day before that! Now my voice is GONE lol.

Never thought it’d happen to me, but boy was it worth it.

Great association! The first time I got to speak to Karrell. I mean we spoke when we were younger, but recently we just recognised each other. I asked her if she remembered me n she said ‘yea’. From that we spoke and I found out that she was already baptised! Funny how you never know, how a friend is doing unless you keep in touch lol.

There was more guys then girls. 10 against 9! Most of them this was the first time I’d met them, but they were really, really nice and funny.

I thought I’d had chickened out on the rides… I mean, as soon as we got there and I saw the height of everything, I was like, ‘NOOOOO. Wanna go home lol’. Fortunately we wormed up on Tidal wave. A very good ride to start with! Nemesis Inferno was the next one we went on as a group. From that everything else just seemed to be easy!!!

The only regret was goin on a water ride like second to last! When we were at the train station it was FREEZING, just cos I was soaked to the bones.

Learnt a new word from Trinidad on the train home. Kiksy means joker >:D

Over all the day was smashing… indescribable. Made new friends and got over the fear of heights!

What a RESULT!!!

To you

When I saw you on the bus back home, I saw something in you that I’d never seen before! Was it jealousy?

I’d hate to judge you but you really didn’t seem happy… as in truly happy. Other wise, if you were, you would have greeted me better when I said hello!

Never the less, you saw me with my friends. A BIG group of friends [!!!] Was that what was intimidating???

No, you never would have acted any different Regardless. You haven’t recently anyhow.

I pity you, and all the others who held my friendship in school. It’s Funny how you think one doesn’t have fun because of being a Jehovah’s Witness. No we don’t celebrate pagan evens but yes we do have Fun. And you don’t like that do you? Not really. You don’t like to see people happy.

Well tough…

Soy amante de la vida y la vida de EPIC…

I’m living and loving the EPIC life> MWAH xxx

Sometimes I wonder if you miss me.

Probably not! I mean I certainly don’t miss you!! But still, I think about the past. And Laugh. And smile. Even though in the end I didn’t really like you very much. What a friendship hay? It was good the lot of us… well from time to time. I learnt a little something from the lot of you! HA!

I don’t look down on you… honestly! It’s just, that, the decisions you made, and the decisions you still make. I mean COME ON!!! You don’t have to be religious to have morals, and you don’t need to be a believer to have sense. I did try and warn you… several times. May be that’s you’re fault? May be its mine?? It could’a been how I came across, but never the less… you got the message.

How does it feel to be so LONELY when you’re drowned in a mob full of ‘friends’?

How does it feel to be so UGLY when you have such a pretty pretty face?

How does it feel to be so FAKE? How does it feel to be so YOU?

I wonder often why you choose to be blind. You chose to be arrogant! You choose to suffer! AHA!

YOU CHOOSE the life you live! You know that as much as I do, and its stupid isn’t it. Never being satisfied. Hoping knowledge will cure you pain. Such a dark, dark Girl! And you know it. And you love it!

Hemorragia en el mismo

Bleed on it…

So okay… I’m Back Again lol. Hopefully i’m staying this time (for real) :S I deleted my facebook today… well technically I deactivated it!!! They really wouldn’t want to let go!!! Urgh, my phone network is orange and basically I get facebook free, the catch (which I did not know) was that I could only go on 50 pages max!!?!?!?! Like WHAT??? This is the first time I’ve had that problem! But I’m not letting it get to me!!! No wonder my credit was goin missing K.M.T!!! Life goes on, n there are much more important things in life!!!

I want to start writing again, but every time I say and plan to do that, it never works out, which is frustrating since I love writing. When I was younger, my aim was to write a whole book!!! Priorities change though don’t they!!??! Well mine changed BIG time. Sometimes I can’t believe I thought I was going to be a writer lol. I wanted to be everything when I was younger… and anything I could be!

SIGGGHHH -_-

♥ <3

So i’m staying on at sixth. T’was a very hard well thought out decision! Mainly because it’s cheaper lol. I keep saying i’m gana get a job, and sometime I can picture me doing so. But today… or for the past few days rather… I’ve just been feeling as if I don’t ‘really’ want to! ‘n’ ew, ew. Going to send off for my provisional’s soon =]]… hopefully. See if I can pull the money out’a the bag! Its only 50 quid so I could pay it if I really didn’t mind sacrificing a shopping spree.

sigh

well there is more for me to say, but I want to finishe stalking peoples social sites (mischievous grin). so I guess that’s it then… for now any-hows[!!] P.S Today’s phrases: oh the beauty of youth… and we are the last generation.

Yet gathers enough that is sufficient.

Oh the indecisive one,

Has no boundary except for beyond,

All that one could imagine.

Oh the indecisive one,

Takes life as it goes,

And as slow as it takes.

Oh the indicicive one,

Always is free,

Yes epicindie!

It’s warm and fuzzy and puts a smile on my face. I laugh and pout and rumble and chase.

It’s fun and entertaining making the day worth while. It overcomes the sadness whenever I face a trial.

It’s loud and noticeable when you live in such a moraless world.

It defeats the odds and all your troubles are hurled,

To a place where no human dear to trod.

It squeals and squints and chuckles at the funniest of times.

It makes peoples face’s fill with an abundance of lines.

It’s what mankind strives for, to fulfil their meaning in life.

When people are fed up with the sadness and strife.

It smells warm, refreshing and freshly baked.

As fresh as when good grain has been recently racked.

It’s not a word many people can spell,

I don’t know I guess it’s for you to tell,

But If I didn’t know any better

I’d say it was more than one letter

Eighth in fact,

Yes it is,

H.A.P.I.N.E.S.S

They call it passion because it’s beyond our control. It flows and gushes unexplained ability. The current bolts before our eyes and we're left with something we name “master piece”.

What is it?

Well it’s a painting of course =]